Exposition

Pornography

I am a horticulturist and I like porn. But then again, not too many people actually dislike it.  The internet is a testament to that.  In 2005 it was estimated that more than half of all the spending on the internet is directed towards sexual endeavors (Kinsey institute).  It’s a massive industry that predates computers, but was revolutionized by their development and subsequent connectivity.   Anyone with a computer can access all varieties of porn quickly, at any time, and for free.  This is especially true if you don’t mind risking being kicked out of your local coffee shop in the interest of amateur inter-racial cuckolding. 

I am (barely) old enough to remember a time before the internet was in every home.   At that age, it was the wild west for porn.  Finding an old magazine in a park was like winning the male pre-pubescent jerk off lottery.   On Friday nights, one stayed up as late as possible to sniff out late night cable porn.  I consider this time crucial in the development of my memory.  As these images were sometimes far between, it was important to burn them into your mind for future recall.

But then, the internet!  A glorious new world was opened.  The screaming sound of dial up was like a twisted angelic fanfare announcing a cavalcade of filth and sexual deviancy.  While it was in fact easier to find, a young dude still had to be wiley in this age.  Simple pictures lurched into existence a few centimeters at a time, and videos were a completely different matter.  Much of the time, internet porn was relegated to entire afternoons where you had the house to yourself and prayed for no phone calls.

Kids today have it easy.  They can have porn on their phone if they so choose.  In fact, pornography has become so pervasive that 42% of all adolescent internet users have been exposed to porn, and 66% of those exposures were described as “unwanted” (Kinsey institute).  Unwanted!  When I was that age, every male peer I knew was literally searching it out.  This shift in exposure raises obvious concerns and questions, but I will leave you to mull over the ramifications of this on your own time.

Not just for people!

Thanks largely to marketing campaigns, blogs, foodies, hipsters and fat people; “food porn” is actually a thing.  The same goes for cars, toys, bookshelves and basically anything you want.  Amassing a collection of high quality coffee table pictures is as easy as typing “coffee table pictures” into Google.  But I think the word porn is thrown around too loosely.  Coffee table “porn” isn’t really porn because as a whole coffee tables are not sexual.   Pornography according to Wikipedia is “the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter” (Wikipedia).   Miriam Webster provides an alternate definition that could be applicable to, say, a rock collection.  It is as follows: “the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction”.  I personally don’t like that definition because I’ve come to realise that connotation is important, and the word pornography has definite and heavy sexual connotations.  So we’ll go with Wikipedia on this one and I will go out on a limb and say that it’s not a word I would apply to objects on their own.

You might say that food is sexual, or cars even.  But a hotdog has no sexual parts and isn’t capable of independent acts of sexuality with other hotdogs.  Showing a picture of a perfect juicy hotdog isn’t “food porn”, it’s just food.   Masturbating with a hotdog is a whole other thing.  A car can have sexual undertones, connotations, and can even be a venue for sex or porn.  But do I watch a sexy car commercial and say “look at that car porn”?  No, because it’s not explicitly sexual.  All of the sexuality in both cases is usually implied.  The subject matter (cars and food) is, of itself, not sexual.   The way they are portrayed is, at best, erotica.  Pornography should focus on the act of sex.

But plants.  Plants are sexual.  Plants engage in constant sex acts that involve explicit and intimate contact with each other, themselves, and other organisms in a completely different kingdom.   They have sexual parts that engage one another, are distinctly male or female, and are involved in reproduction.  And as a whole, plants are beautiful.  Entire industries have been built out of producing, selling and demanding beautiful plants.  Usually these plants are full of colour and scent that often have literal sexual meaning in both the plant world and ours.  A flower is produced as a reproductive structure from the plant point of view.  Meanwhile, ethnocentrically, flowers are given intimate meaning when gifted to another person or arranged for certain occasions.  Weddings, break ups, first dates, valentine’s day, just to name a few.   

There are many comparisons that can be made between plants and humans.  Our worlds have been intertwined since day one.  Separately, both plants and humans have also both made sex a priority in life.    Neither plants nor people would be around in such great numbers if it wasn’t for frequent sexual activity.  These concepts will be engaged in the future.  But at its core, what you are visiting is plant porn.  Pictures of plants with their (not so) private parts out.  Plants engaging in sex.  Plants flashing passers-by with their colourful organs in full public view.  Big fat cones and seductive bracts.  And you can bet there will be plant on mammal action too.  So put on your best leather (gardening gloves), whip up your best botanical fantasy and prepare to be pollenated all night long.  There’s porn to be had.

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Sources:

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#internet 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography